PhotoGrid_1487358223599I keep telling myself that I am a woman and its OK that I have insecurities… but is that really a good excuse??? Should we harbor those insecurities and then clothed them on our bodies like those favorite pair of jeans… I mean really ladies is that what we are meant to do…

As I let that statement settle in , I cant help but to think how to take off those jeans. And how hard is that process when there is soooo many things that I would like to change on myself.  Who would love and except the width of my nose, the thunder in my thighs, and the pudge in my tummy? I mean you cant even turn on the t.v and look at a burger commercial without seeing a beautiful THIN woman eating one (lol). Oh …and there are all types of ways to “fix” whats wrong with you…. cream to fix your skin, pills to tighten this and that, I mean for goodness sake you can get surgery to change your face completely if you are not happy with it.

So first things first. I have to look to the one who created me and ask Him what to do? Not questions why didn’t he make my boobs bigger and my waist smaller? But to ask for His eyes because He seems see me a lot differently that I see myself(Psalms 139:1414 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.Wonderful are your works;my soul knows it very well). Then take a picture and focus on what you love! So for me the curves of my hips, the shape of my eyes, and the brightness of my smile is what I will be thankful for.. and Finally… Ladies allow God to work through the rest of your “flaws” because He thinks you are to die for!

Loving me is “A new step, to an old dance”

Sharda Stevens

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Feeling Stuck….

Image result for stinky thinking

In a world that constantly moves, you evaluate whats going on in your own personal world….

The more I evaluate the more I feel stuck. I know I am not the only one….but the real question is how do we unstick ourselves? Do we ignore the feeling and live this mediocre life? Or is there a magical oil that will make us non-stick (lol).

I have tried everything from praying, writing down goals, reading self help books….I mean you name it, i have done it!!! Then I stumbled across this video by Priscilla Shirer titled “Toxic Thinking”For as he thinks within himself, so he is. He says to you, “Eat and drink!” But his heart is not with you (Proverbs23:7). The way you feel starts with how you think…. But how do you change the way you think?  you might ask.. You have to say those positive and great things to yourself! Not just today but on a daily basis. Then once you believe it now your faith is no longer without works. Now your prayers are more effective!  I know your circumstances have not changed (yet) but you being depressed does not change your perspective. Your Perception is  your reality. As I express my thoughts to you and minister to myself. I want to try to wake up with positive thoughts each morning and see where that gets me because being angry,sad, or frustrated does not change my situation…. and Yeah you may say being happy doesn’t either… and you are right! But changing the way you think might allows you to be thankful and see things differently.

Food for thought…

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Ungrateful Heart

Today is the day that everyone’s heart is full of Thanksgiving and Love. You share special moments with your loved ones, and you capture them with a click of a button….We post them for the world to see the beauty of your day.

But on days like this I ponder about those moments and often feel that my world is not a beautiful as theirs. I live in a city with people that have the same blood running through their veins and I couldnt feel more disconnected.

Why am I so selfish, I ask. I cant feel like this for I am so blessed, I bellow. This day is when the most important Person was born to save sinners, how could you be so UNGRATEFUL , I complain! But when I write it down the words  becomes so clear why I feel the cracks in my heart… the hurt,my disappointed,  and the brokenessential I feel is  because I LOVE… I have to be grateful about that, I am here because LOVE died for me.

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The moment when you have to get your life together, that every thing you feel no longer can be expressed because it’s no longer valid. The moment when you put your big girl panties on and you walk tall for no one can see the world on your shoulders. The moment you tell yourself to pray but prayer seems impossible for yourself, the frustration of your flesh is trying to outweigh your faith. The moment when you rather hide behind the walls of your home because the world seems cruel. The moment when you are back to a place that you said you would never be in again for The One you serve is Greater than your fears and the light to your darkness. The moment that your family and friends become your enemies because isolation is so much more inviting.
The moment when the only way to express yourself is to write your words that you dare not to say out loud
The Moment…..

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Dieting VS Depriving


Everyone hates the word diet, because you may feel like you are depriving yourself from the foods you love.
If you turn this word into a positive one you will now feel that dieting is to be more disciplined and not over indulge in the foods that I love. You can still have a cookie or two but not that whole container in one weekend! There is no rule book that says you are depriving yourself if you never have junk food again, but on the contrary there are medical claims that you can make yourself very sick if you continue to eat too much of it.
Being new on this journey or starting over because you have fell off the wagon. Start writing your foods down and also use a calendar and set small periods of time to have cheat day.  You will not only work harder but you will see that over time your cheat days are further apart from one another!
Remember to have a successful start you should plan and prep because it is so easy to fall into your old habits. As time goes on this will become apart your regiment and I promise you will have a successful victory as well!

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Why I am against “Fad Diets”


This is a picture that I have been avoiding to post. There has been so many people that have congratulated me  on losing so much weight but I struggle with the results…. Yes, I  am happy that I am healthier and yes! I love going to a store and picking up clothes that I don’t have to try on however walking past a mirror while getting dress is a reminder how I started my whole weight loss journey.
When I first was told to lose weight by my General Practitioner, I wanted it to be  done fast! Back in 2011 the new fad diet called HCG was so appealing. “30 pounds in 30 days!” Who wouldn’t want that?! So I purchased the program and lost 32 lbs in 30 days. I was so elated! I told myself I can do this now. So I began eating right and walking after dinner. I kept the weight off but the scale didn’t move like I wanted it to. So I did another round of HCG and lost 15 more pounds and that was the first time I  seen a little lose skin. But it didn’t bother me, I told myself I would do situps or something. Then I began to gain what I lost and became depressed. A co-worker of mine showed me the Atkins diet and I was skeptical. Her exact word was ” you can eat more than 500 calories” (HCG only allowed me to eat that many calories a day). So I was sold! I lost more weight and the scale was my friend again!
Then one day someone mentioned to me, you are so lucky that you worked the weight off or you would have lose skin. I told her I do! And gave her the background. That before I became a gym rat and a lover of the best supplements company (Advocare ). I began my journey with fad diets and starvation to allow my body to lose weight. I told her my regrets and how I wish that I took it slower….
Today after speaking at an event I decided to share this, not for sympathy but to encourage you to know that there is no magic pill. That you have to work hard for what you want. Not saying that those diets were easy but I had an option to take the longer route.  I bust my butt in the gym 5-6 times a week because of this. I want to show that I have learned from what I have done!
I also take my stretch marks and lose skin as reminder where I have come from. Which is an awesome thing!

Just another step of this dance of life.  Stay encouraged!

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My weight loss journey has taught me patience…..
In your mind you know what you want your body to look like, how long you want it to take, and what you will do when you reach your goals! But that is not how it always happens. I am all for writing your plans down, making it plain, and giving it to God to bless it… However like I said in my previous post life will throw curve balls.
You have to keep telling yourself that it will be worth it. If you have a meal that was not the healthiest, don’t throw your goals away. Start fresh with your next meal or begin immediately back on the wagon the next day! Don’t allow your frustration to block your goals or discourage you to complete them….
In the beginning I use to starve myself if I ate something bad. I would feel so depressed and call out derogatory names at myself. Then God spoke to me one day… Proverbs 18:21 which states that you speak life and be positivity every circumstance. I swear just applying that one scripture not only did I gain patience but I lost extra pounds!
Keep going! This dance is not over!

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Monday Motivation #FOODFORTHOUGHT


What I love about this picture is that where ever you are in your life you can apply these words. Of course life can allow you stumble and fall but the testimony is to keep going.
As you start a new week and began to make new goals for yourself. Know that if thrown with the curve balls of life learn how to catch and your testimony will be a home run!

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Faithless Christian


For the past couple weeks faith has been one of the biggest topics. I really have been wondering why because as a Christian faith is our fuel! Then I sat and thought about the things that I am currently going through and do I have faith that God will really work them out??? I pray and but I also tend to try to work out my problems on my own. Coming up with plan b’s or c’s. I know that i am not the only one! Its not intentional but as a human when you are in trouble you go into survival mode. As a Christian that is where we go wrong! We should completely submit and allow God to work it out… The question I often ask myself is…does this make me a faithless Christian???  So my prayer to God before I bring anything to his throne is to allow me to weak so he can be strong in all my situations. If you are like me please keep this scripture in your spirit. Faith is our ultimate dance with God. So allow God to move!
Hebrews 11:1
By Faith
11 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

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” I don’t want to be married anymore”

I know you may be shocked to hear a newlywed say those words but its true. When I look up the word marriage the definition takes LOVE right out of the equation ( the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife).
I think that’s why there are so many martial  issues. Married people think of their marriage as a situation their in or contract that can be broken.  How can you not forget one of the first covenants that God put into place. When I think of God laying Adam to sleep and then took one of his ribs to make Eve makes me feel special.
If you are married that should make you feel so joined to your spouse and the love that you should have one another should engulf your hearts.
So I am no longer saying that I am married. I will now say that I have been joined together with Alex by God (which is love).

This goes out to all married couples. This is dance with your spouse for a lifetime.  Not a contract or business deal that can be broke easily.

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