I was just listening to 90.5 and they were talking about Christians battling with depression, anxiety, or chemical imbalances. How we are scared to reveal those struggles due to our faith….
Well my name is Sharda and I am a 27 year old that battles with anxiety and depression. I do not take pills because of course I know where my help comes from.
I was about 10 when I realized that sometimes I would get sad for no reason. My mom would always comfort me and tell me to pray and that it was OK. As I got older I never wanted to talk about it. I was always afraid to express that some times i feel like the walls are closing and I cant breathe. What will people think??? That I am crazy! Or that I don’t pray or ready the bible enough????
It started to take a toll on my life when my mom passed away. There were days I couldn’t even get out the bed . My doctor told me to get on meds and I told him I would and never filled the prescription. I talked to God and asked Him to help and He has! Do I still have my days? Yes! Do I still need to walk away and have some time for myself? Absolutely! This doesn’t mean I don’t have faith and that I am doubting God. i have come to the realization that I am human… I would never want any of my brothers and sisters in Christ feel they they are alone. We need to help and encourage one another
As I sit here contemplating about life, I see there is a plethora of constant battles.
I see battles in jobs, marriages, churches ect. Me in particular I’m always fighting my flesh. Fighting my personal will so i can see the Lord’s will come to fruition. I don’t know about you but sometimes I find myself wanting to take a vacation from my normal characteristics. Funny huh? But i am serious. If you think about it and really ask yourself was there times you didn’t want to do the right thing? You wanted lash out in a way that wasn’t Christ like and not be judged for your actions? Yep! That’s what the enemy whispers in my ear from time to time. The reason I am even writing this blog is to let you know that even as a God fearing woman I stumble in my thoughts. I just can’t see where a Christian can get a break! So God started to speak to me. He let me know the reason why we are made is to worship him and trust his plan for our lives. If you ever get overwhelmed and have thoughts like this when you are tired of fighting. Know that you don’t have to fight! You just have to trust in the Lord!
Please read 2 Chronicles vs 17
But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!”
Dances of Life
I am reallt trying hard to accept my body. I have blogged many times about my body. About loving and accepting the way you look. Well ladies I have a cofession to make, my state of mind wont allow me to believe what I speak to you. I know I’m not the only one?! You said ok I love me and then you look in the mirror, it seems like all of your imperfections have been magnified! (LoL). The word “hate” comes out of my mouth when speaking about my body. I say to my loved ones “I hate the way it looks”, “look at my butt, i hate the way its shapped”, and “i hate that I dont have a flat tummy like the celebs”. But if you dont love yourself the way you are. Will you ever love yourself? Ask yourself what are you saying to God? He made YOU! With all the working out and eating right these questions and thoughts may run through your head. However you are made in a PERFECT image. GOD’S….
pray for me as I pray for all the women who struggles with their image. Keep praying, keep smiling, and keep dancing.
Its been a while since I blogged. I started a new dance called”marriage”… which it seems like you dont have time for all the “me” time you use to have. Since my dance partner chose me its been hard to watch what I eat or to make healthy choices. He loves to say “baby eat this with me”, “one bite wont hurt”, and “ewe you are always eating bird food”. Thats only a portion of what he thinks lol. So I made a deal with him once a week I will eat with you but for the rest of the week dont tempt me. Encourage me. That was easier said and done because he kept making and bringing all the wrong food home. I began to pray because I wanted to endulge with my husbamd but I also didnt want to let myself go. I finally found a trick!!! I would ask him to work out with me and I called it a form of “spending time”. He now leaves me alone. Telling me you go ahead baby. Ill catch up later! Lol. So women if you feel that this is hard try to get your husband to join with you. Let him know how important it is for you not to only look fit but to be healthy.
Remember he married you and he chose you for all of your attributes! Incuding your body!
Valor such an interesting word which means bravery; I was reading God’s word today and came across Judges 6:12 and it stated “the Lord is ALWAYS with you, you mighty man of valor”! I said to myself “wow he has so much faith and thinks so highly of us why do we doubt”? Now if anyone that is close to me knows that I am pretty strong woman but when it comes to matters of the heart I can be fearful. I met someone a couple months ago and I thought it would go past a week. He is someone that I wouldn’t go after or give the time of day so I anticipated the norm. A man always tries to get into my pants before my heart, afraid to commit, or lives at home with his mother! LOL now ladies I know you feel me on this one. To my surprise one day he asked if we could pray together. I was shocked! I said” OMG this one maybe a little harder to figure out”. Then we began to pray with each other every day. He let me know I don’t want to date you, I want to court you. I have been speechless and also fearful of what was happening. So I continued to pray and my family and friends was letting me know to let God take control. I just couldn’t get that concept through my head; I kept saying “I’ve been hurt before.” So today one of my friends Talon Mayo left an interesting Dialogue on my FB page; “Finding the Right Person”. What stuck out the most in this article was “God determines who walks into your life. It’s up to you to decide to let leave.” It touched me so much that I decided to let the guy that I am seeing read it as well. His words to me was “ I love you, so if we let God take the lead over our relationship nomatter what we go through WE won’t question if we found the right person…. So my advice to you is that know that it takes VALOR to overcome any situation all you have to do tie your knot and hold on to God’s unchanging hand! P.S. It’s ok to allow yourself to dance♥
The reason for this blog is that we all take advantage of Gods favor. We never stop and think of the small things he does for us. Breathing, walking, talking, even dancing. This is all favor of God. Think about the things you pray for. You may ask for a financial blessing and God blesses you to have a better budget. You may say to yourself man i could use some money and God allowed you to move something so you can have more a money in your expences. That is favor! Why do we have a hard time accepting and being grateful of his favor? Is it becuase we are selfish or greedy? Or we feel that blessings should be materialistic? Please start counting your blessing rather than listing your complaints. Keep praying, God is always moving… have faith… Its ok to Dance with him♥ Sharda
So after losing 97lbs i am having. A little trouble with toning and to get what we call the “apple bottom”. With a 2 year long journey I decided to not only focus on just the weight loss, but to be healthy and fit! After seeing the Super Bowl and watching Beyonece’s performance i was shocked. She looked amazing after having a baby! All I said to myself was how can I get my thighs to look like that?!(lol) With all the rave about her performance on FaceBook I challenged my friend Tamika Newhouse that by May 15th I will have some banging ASSets. Its always good to keep short term goals and to have someone to challenge you to them! Find a new groove, continue to grow, and create a new dance ♥ Be blessed Sharda Smith
I know its the 15th and some of our resolutions maybe put to the side. Remember what ever your goal is you owe it to yourself to see it through! My resoloution is to love myself; wear my curves proudly; to be comfortable in my body. I am working out and eating right(want to be more tone). What works for me is that i write my short term goals down and take them one step at a time. I also talk to the people who truly support me so they can root me on! Create your next dance, show yourself that your next moves will be your best ♥
I know everyone at least once felt this wayin their life. You feel that you are screaming on the top of your lungs and no one hears or understands you. People from all walks of life will say to you… “its ok just pray about it” “oh i understand” “im here if you need to talk”. Sometimes when you are going through something these sayings are words without meaning. However what is true God will not bring you to it just to leave you. I will not say this will be easy at a time like this but i will say keep being patient. Know that when you feel that no one hears you; God does! Prayer does change things. Remember its just a 2 step that we all go through- Keep living keep dancing♥
She will always hide her flaws thinking that someone may see them. She can always find the beauty in every thing except herself. She loves to hear compliments but can never except that they are true. She laughs to hide her emotions and she smiles to sheild her hurt. She always points out what needs to be fixed on herself and it will be very hard to let a man love her. As i write this i know that this woman is me… I pray i tear down my insecurities and know that God made all women beautiful Ladies remember to love yourself